I just had typed for like 20 mins and then right when I was wrapping my post up..The freakin thing disappears!! I had to take like 30 mins to cool down from that one. I can type at a good speed too, so it was alot of thoughts just lost into thin air.
Anyway..I feel alot better today. I spent a couple hours with my little cousins last night before they left for Florida today. Yep its that time of year again. The fam is going to Florida for a week.
Yall remember this time last year? I do!
I had rented my van for like a month strait complaining that I needed to get it back everyday. What a flipping joke I was. The only thing I wanted that van back for was so they would bring me more drugs. Lets be real people.
And all that freaking out over not getting into TC for like 3 weeks.
OK!! Who here knew I was full of ****??
I went through the motions, I did want to go, But not really. Just another stunt to avoid dealing with that mess I made for over a month strait.
One of my house peers relapsed on Heroin within the past couple days. Failed the UA. Got kicked out this morning.
We have like 5 other people who will be leabing in the next week. The house is going to be alot different for a few weeks.
I just got use to everyone.
I will be getting a room mate for the first time since I have been there. Yea, I got lucky and had a room all by myself for 2 mos. I will also be this person's buddy for 21 days. Meaning I will have a shadow for 21 days. No one can go anywhere by themselves fopr 21 days. I had to do it too.
Its going to be a little hectic getting these people settled in. We already have a few people who always feel the need to run ****.
I just step back and let em have at it. Its pretty funny at times to be honest.
I really havent been putting too much into this. Not like I need to be. I am physically doing what I am suppose to. But I am not using the program emotionally and mentally like I need to be. And thats where the real work is.
Anyone can bring their body to a meeting and group. But if your not there mentally. Just wasting time.
I am here for a reason. Might as well use this time well.
I am going to do start talkign and opening up more. Thats my goal for a couple weeks.
I need to ask abotu sponsors again. I will make another thread for that.
I still havent shared, but I will. Thats my biggest goal. To share at a meeting. i will do that before next weekend. And I need to get a sponsor.
I am ready for phase 2, I just need to get at leasta temp sponsor.
I am 1/3 of the way through this already!!
And right around the time I get home, a month or so later a new Big Lots is opening in my town and thats going to bring some jobs!
Everything is going wonderfully.
My gram is taken care of. I got a good tax return this year. I have given 100% to my gram so she can stay ahead of the bills and not behind.
My dad bought her a cell loaded with minutes. And my cousin bought her a converter box so she has tv now.
Thats how we do. I love my family. We all pull together. ALWAYS!!
So I can stay and not worry and she is good.
Well guys. Want to post abotu sponsorship too.
Miss all you guys!! I really need yall alot during the week. But I have to learn to trust my peers and these f2f people too. But yall will always be my number ones!!