Hi Cal. Lately I've been trying to figure out how to validate my sons feeling about his father. He's starting to understand time so he knows that when daddy says I'll see you in a couple days and then he doesn't show up.... that he's not following thru on his promises. Right now I'm stuck on "maybe he meant a couple of weeks and we can call him if you want to." But the whole maybe he meant a couple of weeks shtick sounds so lame and so far he hasn't taken me up on the whole "call him" offer.
I'd like to get to a place where he knows that it's not ok to make promises and not follow through like his daddy does. And it's not his fault daddy does this. Daddy has "issues". Some mommies and daddies aren't always there as much as kids would like. I also want to validate however he feels about it - like his disappointment or anger. I just don't quite know the words for this yet. He usually ends up defending and covering up for his daddy so I just avoid the topic for now. (Can you say codependent in the making?!)
Anyway, if you come up with the answers let me know.
It breaks my heart.