feeling....nothing.....
for the first time, i can look at my ah and i feel nothing! i am not sure if this ias a bad or good thing, but he let me down incredibly last night, and the anger in his messages and the way he spoke to me made me realize that i just no feelings toward this man - not love, not hate, not anger anymore...just nothing. i feel sorry for him for who he is and the way he behaves, but other than that there in just this empty feeling where there once was more. he was probably drunk, though he says he wasn't and i had to go the hospital once again. so beginning at 10pm i called and called - nothing. he only sleeps that early after drinking. at 1:40 am he calls me cell ranting about how i am out of line, and ridiculous, and......blah, blah, blah...and leaves 2 more horrible messages. i was with a nurse he called...then he hung up on me a few times, and well......lets just say there is nothing left. how could he possibly be treating me like this right now? when i'm stuck here in the hospital....that is not a husband, or even a friend.....so now.....this feeling nothing - i think is a good thing.