Cerastes, I'm so glad you've reached out for help. I won't repeat what's already been said - our Friends & Family forum here is great. I wish I'd had the sense to seek help when trying to deal with my alcoholic husband many years ago. I did all the wrong things, and meaning well - enabled him to destroy our marriage and himself. This doesn't have to happen to you. I am sorry for what you're having to go through, and wish you well in dealing with this dilemma. Please let us know how it's going for you and your wife.