I'm so sorry Valleyd, you must feel really sad right now, I can't imagine losing my best friend.
Going back out there will not make anything better though, you know. It would be more of an honor to the memory of your friend to find a healthy way to grieve. Just know that it is normal to feel the way that you do, and that it will take time. The only thing I would recommend is some physical activity if you do not already do so. it is good for the body and the mind.