Originally Posted by
soberscot 
...now I am out I am drinking heavily. Can you guys please help and maybe offer some words to help?
You are beginning to see the light that delusional thinking has a LOT to do with the ism part of alcoholism. Perhaps now you are ready for the inventory part of 12th step work?
After I completed my 4th step I realized that there was more to not drinkin than not drinkin. I had far more delusions that I had ever imagined and it took sharing my short-comings with another person to get rid of some of them.