Hi soberscot
Welcome back to SR
I looked back - you've been here in this situation a few times, mate. How's your liver now?
I know you've tried AA in the past...you didn't find it helpful...might it be time for another go, yeah?
Find a good meeting, find a sponsor...it sounds to me like you could use some face to face support right now.
I only recommend AA because it's so accessible...and it's saved a few of my friends lives. There are other recovery programmes available, like SMART, Life Ring etc
In any case I would see your GP, and the doctor treating you for BPD...it's beneficial to deal with both things bothering you, I think.
D