Hi Soberscot,
You are not alone. Millions of men and women suffer from bipolar, alcoholism and depression. Millions also survive. Coming here is a good idea for support. Seeking help is the best thing you can do. Your doctor, a local hospitial, AA, are all good places to go to get help.
If you have the disease of alcoholism, denial and delusion are par for the course. A medical detox is a very good idea for any alcoholic who is drinking. Your doctor can help you.
I was a daily black out drinker. By the grace of God, I got sober. The good news is things can get better; you can recover. Please see a doctor. Please continue to seek help.
chip