I agree with the others - boundaries are about you and what you can control. Consequences are a big part of setting boundaries and if not followed through on - it doesn't work.
I started setting boundaries awhile ago - at first they were about me taking stands for the things I would or would not do - and left it to him to either stay or go. When RAH was not sober - he would threaten to leave me if I didn't do things his way - so when I stopped being afraid - he never left and found some way to resolve his issue. On a greater scale - it eventually led up to our separation - set by me b/c of outrageous behavior -and then he got sober. We have not been reunited though tried - b/c I am still setting boundaries - it was never with the drinking - but the behaviors - those could be controlled more easily. So that even in sobriety - I can still set boundaries and he has to deal with the issues. I am certain that he may one day decide not to come back or I may decide I want to move forward without him - but for now - I am setting boundaries.
I found that when setting the boundaries and following through with the consequences - it has been much easier for me to see what is real - and it I feel more confident in my choices. I may not like it that he is not around - but I know the reason - it wasn't a decision made impulsively or based on emotions.