When do people in recovery start to become truly grateful?
Not to oversimplify it, but I became grateful when I wanted to be grateful. I chose to express gratitude to someone about something at least once a day. I often go to the Gratitude forum to read others' thanks and to express my own. I will express gratitude over even the tiniest things: the way my dogs enjoy the treats I give them; the way my college kid emails and calls me regularly; the way my mom and I enjoy our mornings out for coffee.... Anything and everything.
I've read on here a lot: 'a grateful alcoholic won't drink. I can understand that now. When I think of what I do'nt have, I try to remind myself of what I DO have - and it's a lot. So being thankful for my life and all in it helps keep me sober and makes for a better attitude all round.
I too crave the 'instant nullification' of alcohol. I love not feeling anything, especially if I'm feeling depressed. But I've trained myself pretty darn well now to think it thru to the bitter end... how awful I'll feel for at least a couple days and what a waste of time it will be getting thru those literally sickening days. So keeping a sharp memory of my last detox helps me ignore the call of 'my old friend' who's become a hateful enemy. He wants nothing good for me, only to make me really sick before he kills me.
Sorry for rambling, just feeling emotional tonight, and in a good way.
Don't give in to the cravings. What is one of my favorite sayings from here? "No one ever woke up in the morning wishing they had drank the night before." So true. I love waking up sober and not sick.
It will get better. Hang on a day at a time. It will get better, I promise.