How have you grown?
Let's share some hope. I thought it might be fun to compare ourselves to ourselves. What were you like in the beginning and what are you like now?
When I first got clean, I couldn't stand being in my own skin. I would go to meetings, and I couldn't pay attention. I sat in my seat rocking back and forth really hard and fast, with my eyes bugging out of my head. My hand constantly went up to push my hair back, I talked really fast and loud. I was always angry and yelling and cursing. One of my best friends today told me when she first came around she was afraid of me, she thought I was some kind of psycho would come in with a gun and blow away everyone in the meeting (we get a good laugh out of that).
Today, when I go to meetings, I am able to sit still and pay attention. I am able to focus on whoever is speaking and look people in the eyes when we talk. I don't rock any more (unless I am really really jammed up). I talk slower, clearer, and I don't yell anymore. I still curse sometimes, but not as much. I am not so angry anymore. I am very at peace with who I am, and I am happy with the direction my life is going. I can finally sit in my own skin.
Laurie D