Hi,
I have read your posts since I started visiting this site in 2008. You have struggled with the same stuff and it seems that nothing has changed.
He treats you like dirt. As a fellow woman this is actually painful for me to read. I know what it is like to feel dependent and scared. It sucks bigtime. But, at a certian point we all have to recognize that we are adults and WE can control our situations but not our A's or anyone else. You have chosen to stay with this guy for whatever reasons, but you keep coming here to tell us how he treats you poorly. (Personally, I am so glad this site exists for all of us to vent and reach out no matter where we are in our journey.) Because you keep coming here, I assume (this can be dangerous I know) that you are unhappy in your situation. He isn't changing, so what is it that you want from this relationship?