from my own experience IWC, I had that conversation many times. I felt somehow that if he wasn't understanding what I was saying then I just hadn't found the right way to say it yet, the one that he could connect with, that he could understand. The fault obviously lay with my communication skills.
It didn't: he knew/knows what was wrong, and it wouldn't have been neccessary in a healthy relationship to discuss or even mention this more than twice tops. In fact in a healthy relationship, he'd have figured after learning what he did, that he had to change his behaviour because he would never have wanted to repeat it.
and there was me being open and honest and trying to keep communication lines open and understanding that people weren't perfect and are allowed to make mistakes and all manner of other "concepts" that I'd read/heard applied to healthy relationships. I was like a child parotting these "concepts" at a dog, and expecting a sane human response out of them. I couldn't make my relationship healthy by acting as if it was.
My A wants/needs to drink, he would react in whatever way he subconciously? felt was most likely to get him off of the hook in the short-term. So sometimes he was receptive, he agreed with me wholeheartedly, sometimes he felt that I was making to much of it, sometimes he denied there was any problem at all, sometimes he was angry, aggressive, sometimes dismissive, sometimes hurt, devastated, sometimes depressed at how awful he was having to ring many people and tell them how awful he was, each one bolstering him that he wasn't that bad. Sometimes he swore to cut down/only drink in the evenings/give up, tomorrow/on friday/after the weekend, often whilst chugging down some cider, and I SWEAR he meant it. Lies, hiding drinking, hiding bottles, shame, hurt anger all followed.
If he ever made it 2 days without alcohol I would be astonished.
Maybe I had to try all of that to understand that truely nothing would change him, but I also know that of the 4 "serious" relationships I have had in my life, I have ended every one. Each time waiting for years (years!!) after I was consistently miserable within it.
Do you know what you want in a relationship partner?
I have never defined it, I end up going out with people because I find them attractive, and somehow we end up bonded, I don't choose/assess whether my needs/wants are being fulfilled, I am passive, and when they repeatedly don't fulfill my hidden expectations of a partner, instead of calling it quits I a) try and convinve myself that I have unreasonable needs and expectations and move my lines in the sand and at the same time b) try and explain them into changing into someone completely different (plus I need them to be happy about that change LOL!).
This might well not be your experience, but it has been mine.