Kirsty

Hi im fairly new to recovery. I ended up hitting my emotional bottom last year, after years of trying to 'help' others and taking on their problems etc,(I know now this was my way of trying to control my enviroment) I ended up having a breakdown and hit the wine in a big way for 2 weeks. It was the best thing that could have happened to me as it pushed me into recovery and putting the focus back on myself.

I suffer from depression and whilst the meds keep me at a level im feeling alot of self-pity just now and feel really tired all the time and my body aches, just cant seem to get anything done really as its so much effort, not sure if this is in part due to having depression or could it be early recovery and im grieving for what has happened in my past? Im not sure.

I go to alanon twice a week, CoDa once a week and ive just started going to church which really helps as I wasn't brought up to believe in a faith.

I always feel different to others, especially my friends who seem so together, I guess I compare my insides to other peoples' outsides.

I just came out of a relationship in dec that wasnt healthy, and I feel so lonely and incomplete but I know for my own sake I have to stay single and focus on my recovery but its so hard.

Sorry, self-pity again, I just need to know that it does get easier I need some hope that I can and will get better if I keep atit because right now everything just feels so slow and I feel like im constantly working on my recovery, always reading, journally, on here etc

Thanks