Kotabear are you recieving any counselling to work through all of these issues?
It is very sad when a parent does not meet up to our expectations but you know what...it sounds like for you ( and me) that is just a fact. What I do is make definite plans that dont place any reliance on them. I no longer expect help and any recieved is a bonus.
If he is an X..why are you putting yourself through a phone call with him. Why do that to yourself? His recovery is not your ersponsiblity. Sounds like you have enough on your plate managing your own life without being his support as well.
The winter can get us down can't it? What can you think of doing that will put some positive in to balance the sadness?