There are some books that I would recommend to you by Harriet Lerner. "The Dance of Pain," "The Dance of Fear," and "The Dance of Intimacy." They all really cover the same concepts, but are written from the standpoint of whatever emotion is troubling you. They are all about establishing boundaries with members of our family of origin, without cutting them out completely. And about how this kind of healing fosters healing in our lives in general and in our other relationships. They were very eye-opening to me.
L