hey robert,
first of all, i am confused. i thought this thread was started by "otis" and just now reading your post, sounds like it is yours? perhaps it is just related to what your own issue is?
ok, you are obviously an intelligent, and articulate guy. my personal opinion, is that most, if not all, of what you just said: true. but then you asked the question about helping a sociopath, who is also alcoholic. i believe that the diagnosis of "socio" or "psycho" (both correct) -path is in part, that they are simply this way. they have probably the worse track record for rehabilitation, because they are simply the way they are. (i guess i think that they may not have been "born that way" but their abuse has been so profound, and they are sort of pre-wired for mental illness, so that's how they become one....in my opinion).
regarding what ago said -- kinda rubs me wrong too, but as the next poster said, we take what we like and leave the rest. we've discussed this type of thing here before, and i do bristle, but am learning that even though i want to be sensitive to those who have been badly wounded, and not be so cutting in our remarks, the ones who are (as ago would probably say) abrasive, have also been hurt by this disease.
and one more thing i'd really like to say:
my xah was a quiet, polite, sensitive and kind man. well, still is. (when i had a 9-hour surgery for cancer in 2008, his face was the first one i saw when i came out of recovery). that kindness doesn't make him not an alcoholic, and doesn't change the fact that even with the good qualities, i decided i did not want to continue with him, no longer loved him as a wife should love her husband. he was broken, and for whatever reasons, not willing to find healing.
i do think it does people a disservice to place them all in one giant basket and slap a label on it.