Hi ddog
Originally Posted by
Doodledog 
Did anyone else’s addiction try to up the ante when it wasn’t getting its way?
I had about 7 years recovery as a compulsive overeater. I had peace and serenity during very traumatic times in my life, I lost 100lbs, I got to my ideal body weight. The craving for food had gone and I 'recoiled from it like a hot flame'. It was good recovery.
And then I became an alcoholic. Whatever relationship I had with alcohol - at times I was a binge drinker, at times I didn't drink - it crossed a line into alcoholism without me even realising it. Once I crossed the line, there was no going back and the alcoholism then got me into binge eating again.
This disease (whether it be alcoholism, addiction or any other behaviour/substance) is all one and the same. This is what I have learnt.
I see it as a disease of "lacking" in that everything is lacking in my life and I need, need, need. My "lacking" needs anything I can get my hands on - food, alcohol, shopping, relationships etc. But nothing satisfies the "lacking" (I also did cigarettes at one point and was a 40-60 a day smoker)
I know now that this lacking is a spiritual void. There is only one thing which can fill it and that is God. The best thing about this is that it is very simple (maybe not easy) and once I let God into my life to fill the void, I don't need anything else. The constant search and neediness is over.
I was lucky as I survived my relaspse. But I now know that I cannot take one single day off from working every single one of the 12 steps. Without a daily filling of God my spiritual void will start screaming out to me to use. God only knows what the next new substance would be if that were ever to happen.
As to you working Step 3, please don't take too long on this. It is only a
decision. Step 4 is where the action starts. The sooner you get up to Step 9 and beyond the sooner you will know God/HP in your life and you will be relieved of what you are feeling now. Your neediness, lacking, void will be filled.
Have you looked at the 12 Step forum? There is a sub forum for Step 3. It may be worth posting there. I have found that a lot of people misunderstand this step (it was explained to me wrongly at first) and waste time doing something more than just the decision which is asked of it, when they really need to be working steps 4 to 9.
good luck