Having a doctor telling me to quit abrutly set my alcoholic mind in motion bigtime.
About 4 1/2 yrs ago a doc visit for a routine check up resulted in blood work coming back with my liver enzymes elevated keeping me from getting cholesterol meds.
Doc asked me how much I drank and you guys might not believe this but I wasn't totally honest
-- eventually, after a few more visists with a specialist, he sat me down and just came out and said you have to stop drinking all together.
He then told me as he saw it, by the age of 40 I'd be past the point of no return. I was 33 at the time, or maybe 34 - anyway, my alcoholic mind said "Hey, I have until 40".
I quit for about 3 months but attended no meetings - I now know I was a dry drunk w/o any spiritual help.
The way I looked at it was I was still functioning just fine. Had a family, job and was relatively happy. Here I am now later with things falling apart.
I think the hiding and lying over and over to my wife is the ugliest part and the part that's endagering my family. The common denominator is alcohol. When I'bve lied and gotten busted it was when she was worried about me dying and asking how I was handling it.
I would sneak and sneak and say I was good and say I was headed to a meeting and drive around for an hour drinking.
I need to be reprogramed or something and quit saying - "well I don't blackout" or "I don't drink that much" or "who is it hurting".
Not sure the point but felt the need to add this.