Wow...this really hit home. I met my ex first when he was 8 years old. Didn't see or hear from him for 16 years....encountered him again. We became a couple and were together 6 years. In which time he relapsed and I finally couldn't take anymore and moved 2,000 miles away. When he was clean and sober he was the love of my life. But when he used...he became someone I didn't know. Anyway, I hadn't seen him in almost 4 years when he started calling again and wanted to start over. He wanted to get clean and sober and move out here with me. I've been in therapy a long time and I still love this man. (The man I knew clean and sober.) His pattern since I left...he goes from one drug addict/drunk to the next. When those fall apart he calls me. Somewhere inside is the man I love...but drugs and booze have destroyed him. And he does pretty much what you are talking about. As a friend of mine in recovery told me...you are the woman he loves (the good, kind woman; the only woman he ever really loved) but if he can't have you....he'll take whatever woman will get him off the street and give him a place to stay. You sound a lot like me....I still blame myself for a lot. And it has nothing to do with me....booze and drugs are just more important. Sorry, you didn't get the support you thought you would. Believe me, I understand. I have been in and out of Alanon since 1980. And have come a long way....but sometimes there is that one person...the one who takes your heart. And what is sad....is he was a GREAT person when he was clean and sober (Which he had 5 years) Since we've been apart I'm learning how to take care of myself. And I still sometimes ask why?? And I have a great friend who has 11 years now clean and sober and she answers me every time. And she knows what she's talking about.