bugsquawsher, I hope you and your wife find the help you need to be happy again.
We really can't allow this to become a forum for arguments between marriage partners. The folks here understand that every story has two sides -- really they do.
If you think that you'd like to get control over your drinking, FOR ANY REASON, there are lots of incredibly great folks over on the Alcoholism boards who would love to help you. This just isn't the place.
Good luck with everything!