Well, from here....Mr. Sofa has a lifetime of lying and manipulating. He learned at a very young age how to manipulate his mother to get what he wanted. She was drinking until he was 14....and I am sure he could detect her guilt and played on that. That's what kids do when they have no boundaries. Led him to a lifetime of trouble.
Now as a recovered A....she feels guilty because BOTH of her sons are addicts, and feels responsible for this. So they both play off of that to manipulate her....all while hiding their "secret"....which, in truth...isn't a secret.
For him, it's an imprint....and will take years and years with counseling and support to rewire, ya know?
So, I guess it depends on the individual. Every one has a different story.
The real question for us may be~
"How long will it take for Me to stop being manipulated?"