Chino

When you're ready. It's pretty much the same thing as when an addict hits bottom. The pain of being with them becomes greater than not being with them.

I understand that a thousand times over. Learning the language on this side of the fence is for us, though sometimes it benefits them. We change our thought patterns so that we no longer enable and ultimately end up compromising our serenity. If this is your goal, more power to you!

That reminds me... here's the codie version of the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the people I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.