Hi everyone. Thanks for the welcome. I needed it. It's funny how nervous I felt just clicking "submit".
Live, you suggested I ask my BIL what his therapist is telling him. I'll do that. I'd really like to spend more time asking him questions and letting him talk about things and doing less "troubleshooting". It's hard because it's so dang automatic for me.
Bernadette: Lots of good stuff for me to try: I'll back off on the Alanon nagging! And I really appreciate you suggesting actual words to say when I finally talk to my SIL. I get frozen. I feel like a toddler who needs concrete instructions and lots of repetition.
Thanks especially saying it's alright not offer, "If you ever want to talk..." Another concrete way for me to limit my interactions.
Freya: Your list of questions to ask myself is great. Now if I can only get myself to pause for even a second before I react!
Thanks you guys.
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