(((Teke)))
I'm so sorry, sweetie. I know this brings up a lot of feelings, as you were doing the same as I had done...stepped away and detached....and then my ex died, too.
Please know that you were doing the right thing for both of you, and try not to let any guilt slip in there. I'm only speaking from MY experience of some of the stuff I went through when my ex died in Dec.
I sent you my phone number in a pm, last night, if you need to talk or anything.
Big hugs and prayers for you and your kids!
Amy