"You should" turned into saying nothing at all or "May I offer a suggestion?" if I truly had something important/helpful to share".
See that's it. I already feel what everyone is telling me is absolutely right. I just need the Alanon vocabulary. I don't want to speak to him and have it all go to a pile of sh*t because I can't talk right! FOR me, I don't want that pile FOR ME. ;-)
"I can't provide the help you need." Brilliant! Don't laugh, seeing the obvious isn't my strong point.
Thank you Slag, when I get that cheerful "You're doing good" I feel that much stronger!