Teke,
I'm pasting my previous post over here as it was in the thread and I wanted to make sure you read it. As I value the advice.
"It always comes back to behaviors, are theirs acceptable or not, are ours acceptable or not? And, am I the best me I can be regardless of them?"
I think we're O.K. and I say that tentatively. We don't argue in front of the kids or have screaming matches. We talk cordial. He just looks miserable and walks like the living dead most of the time. Oh, and he can snappy.
"What I find unacceptable is the fact that NOBODY's home. When he got out of rehab two years ago he was great. So, I did experience him. They say an addict is only 50% of what they could be. Just walking around 1/2 people. It seems more like 10% over here. So, it's the drug use that is unacceptable. I swear, I don't have one behavior issue so-to-speak that is unacceptable ---> it's Him being 10% human is."