thanks for posting this, wife. (i did get a chuckle from the "candy coat" statement btw)
i am one of those on this forum who tries to temper what i say. i never, ever want to hurt someone's feelings, and even sometimes when i see another person's post that seems rough, it causes me to cringe. (although to be honest, i have really laid it on the line and maybe crossed that line i try not to!) i am learning to get a thicker skin, and also know that words come across in text differently than if they were being said. i am actually probably too over the line, almost always proof-reading my posts and questioning if i sounded "mean".
i think that often we, in our experience and what we've learned, try to say some very straightforward words that will shoot a dose of reality into the o.p. not realizing, perhaps, that they are just starting out on their journey of enlightenment, and that it takes time. even though we speak truth, i think we can come across as know-it-alls, or just a little too strong.
i think, yeah, tell it to us straight. yeah, we should realize that it is the poster's
opinion and we don't know where they've been, but it hasn't been the same as where we've been. some people have been very, very badly hurt, and that colors what they think, and therefore how they will reply. but what i wish is this:
* that we would try and temper out admonishments with some gentle words
* that we would not generalize our opinions as though they are in fact everyone's truth
* that we would not speak in black and white so much
* that we would give every one criticism with two compliments (jk, thanks alice
(um....was i just redundant?)