Love is certainly a critical component in my recovery. Love for myself. I have quit drugs/alcohol to appease significant others and also sought out relationships with non-users in hopes of getting myself straight. It never worked for long. These peoples thoughts and behaviors(read:lives) are out of my control and when i made my personal recovery dependent on them it became in serious jeapordy when they didn't do what i wanted and inevitably left. It has to come from me.
Furthermore, i learned through experience that me and me alone simply wasn't enough to maintain recovery. My solution has been spiritual in nature. There is a psychological component as well, in that i've learned a myriad of coping techniques and methods of self analysis that's allowed me to better understand the workings of my mind. But without my spiritual solution i would be in trouble and have been in the past.
I cultivate this spiritual solution through 12 step fellowship(meetings, step work, service), practicing spiritual principles in my daily life, daily prayer and meditation, yoga, chanting, and reading about recovery and spirituality.
Ultimately, my recovery is an inside job. I cannot allow my recovery to depend on any person, place, or thing. It is my relationship with a higher power and actively cultivating that daily that gives me relief from my addiction. That may sound contradictory, but my higher power resides both internally and externally. Some call it god. I do not. The name doesn't really matter.
The first step was for me to abstain entirely from drugs and alcohol. I had to cross that threshold before anything else was possible. While in active addiction i was terminally incapable of making the right decisions for myself. Then immersing myself in a 12 step program and daily spiritual practice of my choice began the process of healing and recovering.
May you find your path to recovery.