I appreciate candor as well - it helps me the most. BUT.
I sometimes wish that, before hitting "post" at the end of typing a long reply which essentially shouts "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS," people might step back and read it out loud, imagining that they are saying it to a real live flesh-and-blood person standing right in front of them with their heart in their hands (imagining them in tears would not be a stretch)
If you wouldn't still say things the same way to a real person in real pain - honestly - then that's where you have to decide whether to edit yourself or just close your message and walk away.
Many posters have the skill to say these things and stilll it comes across that they say it with compassion and understanding for the suffering that's going on. Some do not have that skill, or have it but don't want to take the time and energy to exercise it, and I can tell you that it breaks my heart after an episode like that when we never see that poster show up again.
We've seen some brutal honesty that, if spoken in person, would shatter someone's already fragile self-esteem into a million fragments.
Everyone means well, but regardless of the like me/don't like me issue, it's worth making sure what you write passes the "I'd say this to your face" test.
Just my two cents, from my dusty perch up here. Can someone send up a cold drink?
p.s. and know that by "you" I mean the universal, ambiguous "all of us," and not You, WifeofaDrinker LOL