There are times when I see someone still stuck in a bad place, (in my eyes anyway) and I grit my teeth, grrrrr a bit, and yell at the computer, "why can't you see what is in front of you?" Then my own little Jiminy Cricket gives me a nudge, and I think "I'm a good one to talk. It took me 18 years to see what was in front of me, and 6 months to act on it."
I may have walked the same path, but I did it in my shoes, not theirs. My shoes may not have had the same bits rubbing on my feet, as their shoes are doing to their feet.
Of course I feel the urge to hop in and "help", after all isn't that what kept me prisoner to my RABF's problem for all those years?
Telling myself and being told by him, that without my love and support he would drink himself to death were chains to keep me where I was. Well, he had all my love and support, and he kept on drinking, quitting, relapsing whenever he chose to, so I was of no damned use there at all.
Finally I see the light. I don't have contact with him when he goes on the last binge, and refuse any help withdrawing other than to call an ambulance if necessary, and the result is what?
He goes thru 5 days of withdrawals, goes to D and A for help, sees the Dr and gets medication and does this for himself, by himself. I did nothing.
Was I happy? Not to start with I wasn't. I was mad at him, me and anything that moved for a while, and why?
Because he should have done this years ago when I was there to help, not wait til I gave up after wasting all those years with him.
How infuriating! How Codie! How selfish!
The love, support, hard truths and wisdom from those in SR and this forum, helped me to freedom, then showed me how to find ME and to grow.
I bless all of you, for your caring, and for sharing your ideas and wisdom.
God bless