FindingPeace1

Howdy, friends!
So, I had an interaction on here in which I was... not gentle. I was very straightforward in my observation. I did not pull any punches.

It was responded to with hurt. The worst thing of all happened - I was called mean. Well, in truth, it wasn't clear if the poster was saying I was mean or the message was mean.

Being called mean struck my codie heart like a flaming arrow!! Dear GOD! I am going to die!

I scrambled to apologize.

Later, I told my friend about it. I read her my post. She had a surprising response. She said she didn't see any mean spiritedness. She said I was candid and real. She said, "That's your job, right, to help eachother see with new eyes and not candy coat things...
...oh wait, you're all a bunch of codependents! Of course you're going to candy coat!"
Well, I'll tell you, we laughed until we cried over that one!

It was her saying that that made me see how triggered I was to be called mean.

But it made me reflect on how we are on here.
There was recently a similar exchange around this issue. One person said we should cut others some slack, while another said our job is to call it as it is.

I think some of us sometimes probably DO do too much "you go girl" encouragement and not enough calling on the carpet...although I personally really appreciate the candor of those that call a spade a spade.

I also recognize we have to speak in a way that can be heard. If we don't, the message is not relevant anymore (at least for the person, in particular).

In addition, I always LOVE the supportive and encouraging because it strokes my ego...

What do you think about all this (not situation in particular, but about how we are with one another)? How much does your codependency influence how you reply or how you read other's posts? How often do you see other's codependency in their posts or replies? How do you personally curb it in yourself? Do you craft your messages to be gentle? Why or why not?