nodaybut2day

I don't know how to feel about this...I have a friend that I recently got back in touch with after years of no contact. The lack of contact was enforced by XAH who demanded that I have no male friends. Anyhow, I really enjoy this friend's company, but I know for a fact that he enjoys drinking. I don't know if it's a cultural thing (he's half Irish and half Italian), but at dinner, his family always has wine. When we went to university together, we had quite a few outings where we got plastered together. In fact, many of the funny stories he tells revolve around him horsing around with his best friends after they've drank. This friend has also told me that twice a year, he goes for a month without drinking and does a cleanse with supplements and all. I don't know that this changes anything.

Now I realize that whether I'm talking about a friend, a husband, a father or a child, I simply cannot control that person's behavior. I also know it's not a crime to drink, but it's hard for me to understand because both my father and I are highly intolerant with regards to alcohol (yay for being Asian). My father is borderline allergic, and can't have a sip of alcohol without bloating, getting all red and sometimes having his airways swell. I'm not that bad, but I do have a reaction that I don't always enjoy, hence I don't enjoy drinking much that much because the resulting migraine or blackouts are always a high price to pay. I don't mind if other people drink, but maybe right now, the mention of alcohol is a bit of a trigger for me...

So, regarding this friend, should I state some kind of boundary with him, like "I don't want to be around you when you are drunk?" I'm feeling like I need to make certain that the boundaries I so painstakingly explored and then clung to with XAH don't suddenly fall by the wayside with friends. I know I tend to be a people-pleaser and push-over so I really want to think this through and make certain I don't repeat old patterns.

What are your thoughts on this?