Callie... I am sorry you are having to deal with all of his BS still.
I know how hard it is to be close to the inlaws, and to have them NOT understand what it is that you are doing and why you are doing it... The fact that they keep calling and trying to drag you into it when you are trying so hard to keep OUT!! I have BTDT too!
You are doing the BEST you can with the situation at hand... Keep it up girl!