Astro

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling swampy, you've got an '04 join date so I'd gather you've been taking a run at recovery for awhile.

I get daily meditations in my emails, and one of them in the last few days said something like this.....

I won't get a job by thinking about it, and I can't get a college degree just by looking at course catalogs.

Recovery is a program of action and doing. I've got to take the Steps and practice them, every day. I've got to attend meetings and share even when I don't feel like it. I can't use excuses like loneliness, slow progress, resentments, and relationships as an excuse to drink. Taking a drink, relapsing, just can't be an option anymore, it means death. What I'd prefer is life, and I've found that being clean and sober leads to a very, very good life but sometimes it takes longer than I want it to. It happens on God's time, not mine.

Drinking isn't reality, it's the Great Lie about alcoholism. This disease can destroy my life if I don't take it seriously.