Keep on relapsing
Hey guys.. have not posted in awhile. I had 18 months clean and sober, then relapsed 4.5 months ago.I had a sponsor and was working the steps. I relapsed over major resentments, being lonely (got together with an ex who was using, so i did), felt i was not making progress as quickly as others, could barely share at meetings (very hard too). now, I cannot seem to get more than 12 days without drinking again. sucks, really. I just don't know what the problem is, I felt that I did so much work before that it's going to take a long time to get to that point ,and then what if I feel the same way again? i guess just worried. When drinking, I get to escape reality, but then it hit's me back when I am sober. so, here i am getting ready to go back to school, living with parents (41 years old), no girlfriend, 2 kids, who don't live with me. Man, if being sober is what is was for that 18 months, that would truly suck. I know I am having a pity party. If I could just get the drive to not drink back. Yes, I do attend meetings. thanks for reading.