You've been through so much lately. When I lived with AH, at the end, I spent almost all of my time in this state; furious at his every word. As Danny DeVito said in "Ruthless People," I hated the way he licked stamps.
The only thing that worked was to step away from him, get to a quiet place within myself so I could have inner peace and stop engaging.
I took vacations, I spent the night at my cousins house, I relished when he was at work. But until I moved out, I didn't experience actual relief. I don't know if I could have, had I found this place first, used detachment. Others might be able to detach with love while living with a practicing A, I don't think I could.
How about a meeting? Or a brisk walk?