sadbut,
how painful! i see this clearly as someone who would rather be the one to struggle with, and ultimately make the decision, to leave YOU, before you can leave HIM.
if he acts as though he is unhappy with you cuz you're overweight, crabby, have zits, or can't cook a good pot roast, it's an illusion that he's in the driver's seat and it's not about his addiction.
just try to be thick-skinned, realizing that he is DELUSIONAL. it comes with the territory.