He let you go without a fight. The marriage and family and children go without a fight. The xanax provoked a fight. I'm so sorry that you're coming to the realization of where you stand in comparison to xanax. I've had many many many TOO many experiences with xanax. Being a passenger in my own car with him driving and nodding out on a bridge. Nodding out into a plate of food in restaurants. It is a horrible drug and for your STBXAH, now he has a valid/justified (in his mind anyway) to use it. You are a very strong woman and a year from now, you will be in the position to seriously help another woman in similiar circumstance. You are in my prayers.