I had to be tricked into leaving. I rented a home for us, after our house was foreclosed. We signed the lease, I organized a moving party, rented the truck. Then busted him texting his affair partner. The cat started vomiting on the bed at 3am. I threw him out and realized AH's text message was going off while he was passed out drunk on the couch. It was yoda saying, "message from the darkside there is."
I looked. It was her. He had humilated me so many times. I kept taking him back.
I woke him up and said, "don't you want to know what Melissa said?"
He said to me, "you know we still have to move into that house together."
I said, "No we don't. I'm moving there with the kids and you will stay here."
Still, as the time grew near for me to move, I tried to stay. I dragged him to counceling with the hopes of him finally getting it, but when I got in that room with him I screamed at him. Wept horribly. The therapist was horrified that i had stayed with him through all of it. She recommended we stop talking to each other effective immediatly.
Still, I tried to not move. Tried to stay there, in that house with him. where he brought his girlfriend. Where he drank away the mortgage. Where I had crawled, weeping and begging God to make things better. Make him love me.
I told my friends I didn't have to move on the deadline. They laughed and came over and started packing me.
The night before I was suppose to move, with the truck in the driveway, I was still trying to convince both him and me that I didn't have to leave.
He got drunk, woke me up like he had been doing for six months to tell me he was divorcing me.
After begging, pleading, demanding, spying, snooping, threatening and reaching the end of my rope every single day for a year and a half, the thing that suddenly snapped me out of Not Being Able To Leave was 4 sentences I had read earlier that day on a "how to leave your passive aggressive husband" website. I hadn't yet found this wonderful place.
I am leaving you now
This is my choice
I am free of you and your toxic behavoirs
All is for my greater good.
AFter he told me he was divorcing me, and took off his ring for like the 5th time, I laid in bed and repeated those sentences until I fell asleep. I had never done that. i always, always followed him crying.
The next morning, I woke up at 5am, put on my tennis shoes and starting putting stuff in that truck. Laughing. I woke up in my own house for months like that. Laughing. I felt like I had escaped.
God, I love this story...