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01-26-2010, 11:44 PM

# 17 (permalink)

CrackQuack

Member

Join Date: Mar 2009

Location: Dayton, OH.

Posts: 879

Quote:

Originally Posted by Requiem

My depression is killing me inside, I feel so empty and lost in this world, I just lack the will power and motivation to quit smoking weed, because I know for a fact and feel that weed is the source of my problems, I just can't, and don't really want to stop, but at the same time I do... It's what is driving me crazy. All of this is what has lead me to this place today, before you. I want to make changes, I just need help, I don't know how to stop. I have been smoking weed for 7 years, and every day for the last 3 or 4, so I'm here today to hopefully learn from someone else whose been through what I'm going through, and learn to live sober.

Hi Luis! Welcome to SR! I am CrackQuack, 11 month clean. My drug of choice is crack cocaine.
We often blame the drugs, calling them the source of our problems. When in reality the drugs (be it weed, crack, coke, heroin, etc.) are not the SOURCE of our problems. They are the result of us acting out against the real source. Ourselves. Something inside of us.. Resentments. Depression. Hatred. Things in the past. Things we don't want to deal with. Stuff like this is the TRUE source of our problems and why we picked up the drugs, therefore, becoming addicts, in the first place.
I must congradulate you on realizing you are having a problem, in the first place, at such a young age. Many younger people refuse to believe there is a problem until they've gotten older. And, sometimes, that can make it all the harder to stop.
Have you looked into attending NA (or AA) meetings? Therapy? Going back into treatment?
You've got your GED (I got mine in active addiction too!), and you're going to college (I start next month!). Make it count by checking out some meetings, attending a whole bunch of them, listening at them, maybe talk later, and see how you like them. In the meantime, keep coming back to SR too! This place is a wonderful site for recovery!
And really think about cutting those "trees" down. If ya don't know what I mean, really put some thought into not smoking weed. Try it for a few minutes at a time and work your way up to a whole day, and go from there. Give it an all or nothing shot, but don't put yourself down IF you can't do it right away. Many of us relapse (gosh, I smoked crack AND claimed I was clean for a few minutes! Oh yeah- and then I got honest and would relapse over and over for 6 more months, but I kept at it and have been clean 11 months- Feb 3rd is my 1 year!). Anyway, addiction is cunning. It will tell you that you can't quit. But you can.
Many crackheads (I really should say former now) have done it, many alcoholics, many junkies.. Many of us are doing it! Join us and feel the natural high of being successful.
And please talk to a doctor about your depression, ok?