I went from anxious-never knowing what I would come home to in terms of his mood to just-coming home. The behavior and the person-are gone. Do I have rough times? Sure-it's a loss of a relationship right now.
I think the biggest part of feeling good is not placing any pressure on myself to make decisions about the final outcome-because it isn't in my hands anyways. My HP is holding me in his hands and I just wake up and look around and realize that I'm ok. What I "lost" was anxiety (do I need that?); what I "lost" was fear (definitely do not need that). I should ALWAYS come home and feel ok without my blood pressure going up when I drive around the corner.
My RAH needs to work his program on his own right now. IN the meantime-I can be around him because I am numb to him right now and that's ok. It's where my HP wants me to be...
I hope that helps...