((Elsie))
I'm a recovering addict. When I'm struggling and have those thoughts of wanting to "numb" myself, the only people who are going to understand me are other recovering addicts or alcoholics. I ABSOLUTELY won't/don't tell my loved ones as I put them through he!! in my active years.
You are right that you can't give him the support he's asking for. He's perfectly capable of reaching out for the support that he needs and it seems to me he's asking for a lot to be so early in recovery. I, personally, would be feeling a lot like you...you've been hurt, and you're not able to trust him yet and you have every right to feel that way.
YOU have the right to take things at YOUR pace...this is your life and your rules. His recovery is HIS deal. If he wants it bad enough, he will find all the support he wants. I did, and I'm coming up on 3 years clean. I've NEVER told anyone "you need to support me, I can't do this without you" and I won't. I will never put MY recovery in anyone else's hands (other than HP), because then it is no longer my recovery and it's just not going to work.
Keep the focus on you, sweetie, no matter how much he wants to move forward and act like everything is all better.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy