I need you guys
ABF and I have had a rocky few days. I finally told him that the past between him and I is haunting me and I don't know if I can get over it.
That everytime he sames something negative now, I'm reminded of the past.
He was here talking about us buying a house together, and I panicked.
He's only 25 days into being sober, and he wants us to buy a house?
When we lived together previously it was a nightmare. I'm absolutely terrified to live with him again. Not for my safety, but for my sanity, and my kids' sanity. I cannot pick up and move again to appease him, and I told him all of this. He's been appologetic and remorseful. I know he loves me, but as I said...I'm handcuffed to our past, I fear too much bad blood has come between us for me to forgive and move on.
Anyway....tonight he emailed me (after we had a conversation online) and thanked me for the talk and also asked me to help support him in his sobriety.
His words are "I am a very proud man and I don't ever ask for help but I am now asking you for help. I need your support with not drinking. I can't stop something I did on a regular basis for 20 years without your help."
I know from something I posted before that I cannot be his only support. But some very wise words were spoken to me, and I cannot find my post.
Can you please remind me of why I cannot be his support, and so I can pass this info onto him?
He knows full well that I'll encourage him the best I can, but it seems he's asking for more...something I cannot provide.
I'd even be tempted to direct him here, but knowing him he'd scour through this forum to see what I've posted about him. He'd know it's me...because my "name" here is my initials of my real name!
I forgot to mention that I think this cry for "help" is a way to keep me around, because there were talks of him and I not being together anymore.