Hi sowing season
Anna had some good advice on getting medical help.
I was a semi professional muso for many years - I too did the party hard thing...
the problem is tho - the drinking came to overshadow my love of music...the party became more important than playing...and then, I was incapable of playing.
There's no worse feeling that being on stage...and being too drunk to play....except maybe looking the audience and the other band members in the face afterwards...
After three years sobriety, I know I play better, I know I sing better...and I know that music, and the rock and roll lifestyle, are two separate things.
Please don't let the latter destroy the former.
D