Originally Posted by
intention 
Hi Wytchy,
I understand what you are saying. It is important to go to meetings where the solution and recovery are shared as well as the stories and what it is like to drink.
Having said that, that's the only meeting you have access to. How about just trying to go for one a week to start with. This disease we have will do anything to get us to drink or use and it will get your head listing all the reasons why you shouldn't go to the meeting. It's suceeding.
Try to make the other list - all the reasons why you should go and it is benefical for you. Put out of your mind all the boring negative crap your head tells you and really find some good points and keep your mind focused on them.
You know from experience you cannot do this alone. Yes this site is fantastic but finding yourself a good sponsor will be of enormous benefit.....you need to work the steps to recover.......and you will only find a sponsor if you keep going to meetings.
Take care.
Thanks again, Intention
But you're bringing up a sponsor is another thing I had a problem with. In my entire 14 months of attending my home group, I asked every single one of those people who ALWAYS had to lead the table (no matter which table I sat at) if they would sponsor me. They had all been in recovery and abstinent for as long as 25 years.
It just felt like a clique. Not one of those people would sponsor me citing they were "too busy". That only disenchanted me even more. I felt unworthy of their time.
Again, this might sound like an excuse, but it was painful to attend meetings for 14 months and not be able to find a single person who had time to sponsor me.
Maybe I'll try my home group again. The location has changed but it's still only a few blocks driving time from my home. I haven't been to my home group in three years now. Just maybe the dynamics have changed. At least I'm hoping and praying.
Now I just need to find where the new meeting place is since I know they were recently forced to find a new meeting place since their former 'lease' was taken away from them.
Thanks again.
Edited to add: Even though my former home group's location has changed, I know it can't be more than a few blocks from since the town is so small. I'll be calling the local hospital tomorrow to ask them the new location. I know the local hospital will have the info.