I know exactly what ur saying, wytchy.. Before I begin drinking I usally say something like.. "OK.. only 2 xanax, and 1 percocet, thats more than enough" I actually feel positive when saying or thinking that.. Then, of course, I guzzle buckets of booze, and the next day VERY large amounts of pills are gone. I've always found it sickly amusing that I cannot figure out the complexities of the toilet flusher when I'm drunk, yet somehow I know just where the Xanax are...
Hang in there Wytchy... ur not alone, I'll be around all day and night..