I feel so alone even though there are many around me...
Addiction is a lonely place to be. I'm so glad I found this site cause there's always someone here, day or night. Could your doctor help you to quit drinking/taking xanax? I do know that bipolar can be helped with the right meds but even so, when I was drinking I was negating the effect of the meds. My meds work better now that I'm sober.
I hope we can help you with support and understanding. We also have a mental health forum here, I find it very helpful.
Welcome to SR!
Mental Health - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information