but I UNDERSTAND and EMBRACE aspects of myself
that back then were mysterious and intangible to me.
I am more now
than I was then.
... And *he* ... can't have any.
this ... the barb dwyer today... is mine. 
YEAHHHHHHHHH!!! that was wonderful!!!!! made me want to ask for your autograph.
Thanks I too had some recent "waking up the dead" comments and memories, they suck but to be able to talk about them in SR is priceless.... reminds me I'm not alone and its a process that is very complex... but it has to flow.. we got to allow it to flow.
About what coffee says.. it reminded me of something... once I told the therapist "well thanks to xbf I learned X and Y"
And she said "it was not thanks to him, it was THANKS TO YOU"