... last night ...
And there was 'his' name.
I opened the mail (there were two of them)
wanting to 'get together' and 'connect' again
this after the most traumatic relationship I've ever had -
the very one that set me on the path of self destruct...
The most devastating experience of my life
and he wants to 'connect'.
the relationship with this man
destroyed my faith
my spirituality
everything ...
He even went through a phase he tried to impersonate me...
I stopped believing in a Greater Power,
and I vowed NEVER to love again
anything other than an animal.
I really don't want to go into any more detail than that.
Not the child molestor... another megaloser.
After the initial shock ...
I mailed this guy back and told him that
I didn't want to 'connect' with the past any longer.
I told him that my life is fine the way it is
and I have moved on.
And he needs to do the same.
I reminded him that I've already TOLD him this once,
over a year ago, in fact.
Then I deleted the mail.
Holy crap.
They never DO get it I don't think.
I can't go into any more detail than this,
but hopefully knowing that
this was the man I thought was my SOULMATE
and all that other rot....
might be enough for you to know
because the other details of my life
are surreal to put it lightly.
I can guarantee you -
he doesn't 'want ' anything other than advice.
I'll wager money that he's gotten himself into
yet another 'bind' with some 'student'
and he wants to know how *I* would 'get out of it'.
Then he'll go back and do whatyever
and make it look like it was 'his idea'.
Took me three years to catch on to what he was doing with THAT ONE.
When I finally DID catch on
he was in Mexico
with a large group of 'students' and
really NEEDED to know what to do.
I mailed him back then and said-
In all the time I was teaching I never EVER
"got into a bind" in the firest place
that I needed to 'get a way out of'.
I told him -
"Hey- YOU'RE the one pretending to be a Medicine Man..."
"Pretend you know what to do."
I truly thought I'd never hear from him again.
THANK GOD I can come here
and that I have BEEN coming here -
you've helped me more than you know,
all of ya.
